


You Will Be Mortal Once More

by montymoose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Not A Fix-It, this is not going to be fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28858209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montymoose/pseuds/montymoose
Summary: The cool, swift sea breeze whipped across his face as he watched it. This was it. This was the moment. The moment that would change everything for him.He looked down at Kreacher - stone faced, scared, and ready, all at the same time - and smiled softly. If this were to be his fate, he was at least grateful to have his best friend at his side.He sighed and looked out at the crashing waves, the cave not far off from where they were standing. It was violent and thrashing, yet somehow calming and perfectly serene.“Master Regulus,” Kreacher said apprehensively.Regulus patted his friend’s small back, chuckling humorlessly as he bit the inside of his cheek.“For the last time, Kreacher,” he sighed, “Regulus is fine.” His eyes were on the cave, but he dragged them away to look at Kreacher. He met his eyes and nodded shakily.“Let’s go then,” he said, taking his small hand to allow the elf to apparate them inside the cave.--The life and death of the bravest Slytherin, Regulus Arcturus Black.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	You Will Be Mortal Once More

**Author's Note:**

> CW: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, child abuse, adult language, violence. 
> 
> Please be kind to yourself. This discusses the life and death of Regulus Black, so if you're not in the right headspace for that, please don't read this. This is 7000 words of pure angst, and no, it doesn't get better. There is no happy ending or twist. In fact, it's probably worse than you expect. Uhhhhhhhhhhh enjoy!

The cool, swift sea breeze whipped across his face as he watched it. This was it. This was the moment. The moment that would change everything for him. 

He looked down at Kreacher - stone faced, scared, and ready, all at the same time - and smiled softly. If this were to be his fate, he was at least grateful to have his best friend at his side. 

He sighed and looked out at the crashing waves, the cave not far off from where they were standing. It was violent and thrashing, yet somehow calming and perfectly serene. 

“Master Regulus,” Kreacher said apprehensively. 

Regulus patted his friend’s small back, chuckling humorlessly as he bit the inside of his cheek. 

“For the last time, Kreacher,” he sighed, “Regulus is fine.” His eyes were on the cave, but he dragged them away to look at Kreacher. He met his eyes and nodded shakily. 

“Let’s go then,” he said, taking his small hand to allow the elf to apparate them inside the cave. 

  
  
  


\--- 

  
  
  


Regulus Black became a death eater at age 16. He was still in school, still studying, still carrying on with his life as a “normal” teenager. 

But he was not normal. 

He was a member of one of the highest noble families, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. They were raised on strictly pureblood values, and those who went against those values - such as his cousin whom he loved so much growing up, Andromeda - was to be metaphorically and physically burned off the family tree. Their lineage extended over many different pureblood families, so they had much control over families considered to be their “equals.” 

Regulus, just like the majority of his family and those around them, was sorted into Slytherin house upon his arrival to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was exciting at first, but that excitement dwindled as low voices became more common, long talks in the library turned into quick glances full of so much emotion and conversation, and the threat of impending danger rose among students. There was an uneasy air circulating, and it was not a good sign. 

Then there was the “black sheep” of the family, his older brother. 

Sirius Black was the opposite of Regulus. He was loud, obnoxious, confident, and _strong_. He was a Gryffindor, and he was the bravest person Regulus had ever met. He ran out on the Blacks at age 16, saving himself from the horrible conditions the family subjected their children to. Regulus resented him for it. He had always hoped… that Sirius would stay. And protect him? But he just up and left, the night of a big argument with Mother and father. He just left. Left Regulus, left… well that was really all he left. There was nothing else for him. 

So Regulus turned to the only person he could. Well, person wasn’t the right word exactly. 

Kreacher. 

Kreacher was the most important person - he always referred to him as a person, or by his name, never something more derogatory as many others did - in Regulus’ life, no matter how short it was. 

He brought Regulus up from birth, attending to his every need when Walburga couldn’t be bothered to do the same. He was there when he took his first steps, when he spoke his first word - which, by the way, was “Krea” - and even when he got his letter to Hogwarts. He was there when Sirius and Regulus fought, when their parents beat them, and was there to console Regulus when Sirius left for good. In Regulus’ core memories, Kreacher was usually close by. 

Looking back on the situation with a more reflective eye, maybe Regulus should’ve realized what Lord Voldemort was doing that night. The night the boy’s standing changed. 

  
  
  


\--- 

  
  
  


Regulus had never been called to meet with Lord Voldemort himself _ever_. Sure, he should’ve expected it when he agreed to become a Death Eater, or at least when he got his dark mark, but none of those thoughts came to mind, apparently. 

Long story short, he was terrified. 

He dressed in black for the meeting, and waited many hours alone in a shadowy, cold room - desperate for the Dark Lord’s arrival. 

He was alone in Grimmauld Place - as requested - his parents long gone. He was 17 at the time, still a student at Hogwarts even while the war waged on. Tensions were high on campus, especially around Slytherins. It was assumed that most of them had their hands in the wrong side of the war, and in all honesty, they weren’t wrong. 

He was a student, standing in the frigid sitting room - not warmed by Kreacher, as requested - and biting the inside of his cheek as he paced, moving between staring out the window and watching the empty fireplace. 

There was a loud crack, and then soft, yet dark, laughter. 

Regulus turned around quickly, trying to stay calm as his eyes landed on the man in the room who hadn’t been there before. He was slim, and taller, eyes glassy and- oh. This was not his body. It was a vessel. The cold feeling of dark magic in the room swam through Regulus’ body and he shivered. 

“Is that any way to greet your leader?” Lord Voldemort - or, well, Lord Voldemort’s substitute body - grinned coldly. His teeth were yellowed and raw, his bone structure sharp, piercing, and snake-like. 

Regulus bowed his head in apology. “My apologies, My Lord,” he said, voice not wavering. Given the years of living with Orion and Walburga Black, he was an expert at keeping his voice steady. It had helped him in many situations. 

Lord Voldemort smirked, crossing the room to Regulus and lifting his face to look at him. “The angel of the Black family,” he said. “Aware of your family’s loyalty to my _cause_ , I suppose?” His eyes scanned Regulus’ face for any break - any sign of his disloyalty. 

“We are all very loyal, My Lord,” he nodded as Lord Voldemort’s hand left his face after another long watch. The man crossed the room, leaving Regulus standing where he had been when Lord Voldemort arrived. 

“And you? Are you dedicated to the cause?” Voldemort asked innocently, turning his head to look at the boy. 

Regulus nodded. “Of course, My Lord. I would do anything you asked of me.” 

Another beat of silence. 

Lord Voldemort crossed back to Regulus, towering in front of him and making eye contact. 

Regulus knew exactly that it was Legilimency. It was something Walburga loved, as it gave her full access to beat her children based on merely their thoughts alone. However, Regulus - and Sirius, too, he guessed - were incredibly gifted in Occlumency, or blocking it out. 

Regulus continued their prolonged eye contact, letting Lord Voldemort skim over his thoughts and memories, but keeping the important thoughts locked tightly away where he couldn’t reach. He watched the emotions flicker on his face before breaking eye contact, and thus breaking the bond. 

“You are a very strong Wizard, ‘Reggie,’” he said, grinning. Regulus bit the inside of his cheek. That was Sirius’ nickname for him. And he was the only one allowed to call him that. It was _theirs_. 

“Mmm, a soft spot, is it? Your brother? What was his name again…” he said, trailing off expectantly. 

“Sirius. But he is a blood traitor, and does no longer belong to this family,” Regulus said coolly. 

Lord Voldemort nodded, watching for a falter in Regulus’ face. 

Lord Voldemort was the one to break the silence. 

“I need something from you,” he said. 

Regulus nodded. “Anything you ask, My Lord,” he said quickly. 

He narrowed his eyes. “Your elf,” he said calmly. “I need your house elf.” 

Regulus was caught off guard. “Wait- What?” 

“I need your house elf, Regulus _Black_. Surely you can do that for me, given everything I do for you and your family,” he smirked. He knew the game he was playing. 

Regulus swallowed, and nodded. “Kreacher,” he said loudly, turning to the door to the room which opened a few seconds later. 

Kreacher walked in, making his way over to Regulus quickly, given the urgent tone in Regulus’s voice and his closed-off body language. 

“What do you need him for?” Regulus asked, looking back at Lord Voldemort. 

Lord Voldemort tutted. “My, _Regulus Arcturus Black_ ,” he said, enunciating every syllable. “An inquisitive one you are.” He looked down at Kreacher and then back up at Regulus. “I need to hide something important. Something that must never be found,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “And I require the assistance of your house elf.” 

Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat. “Of course, My Lord,” he said. “What is mine is yours.” He refused to meet Kreacher’s eyes. 

Lord Voldemort smiled and patted Regulus’ shoulder. “Very good, Regulus,” he said, taking Kreacher’s arm harshly. With a crack, the two disapparated, leaving Regulus alone at 12 Grimmauld Place. 

There was a beat, and then Regulus sunk to his knees, letting the tears fall from his eyes that had been building there for so long. All of his emotions poured out of his body, open emotional wounds that Kreacher was supposed to heal. And now he was gone, with one of the most evil and dangerous tyrants at his side. Regulus had not defended him, nor protected him. Kreacher had done that for him so many times, but Regulus couldn’t even do it once. 

Eventually, he dragged himself upstairs to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him and collapsing on the bed. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Two days later, there was a crack in the kitchen, followed by loud gasping. 

Regulus ran to the kitchen, following the sound of the crack. _Please be Kreacher, please be creature, please be Krea_ \- 

He burst into the kitchen, high on adrenaline. Kreacher was desperately gulping water from the sink, and Regulus ran to him. 

After what seemed like hours - which was realistically only a few minutes - Kreacher leaned back from the sink, wiping his mouth and looking up into Regulus’ worried eyes. 

“What happened? You were gone for days,” Regulus said, voice shaking and laced with concern. 

Kreacher cleared his throat. “Lord Voldemort needed my help,” he said, hesitating before he continued. “He had to hide something. In a cave. An Inferi cave, too.” His voice was quiet. “There was a stone basin, with Drink of Despair. He wanted to hide the thing there, and made me drink it. Went to drink water, and the Inferi came out,” he said. “He left, and I apparated here shortly after.” 

Regulus took a few seconds to process everything Kreacher had said. Lord Voldemort just _left_ him there? 

Regulus stood. “I’m going to kill him,” he said quickly. 

Kreacher shook his head. “No, Master Regulus. Kreacher is a house elf, and this is his job.” 

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek. “It’s just Regulus, Kreacher,” he shouted, running shaky hands through his hair. “He- He just left you there! He left you for _dead_ , Kreacher!” 

Kreacher rested his hand on Regulus’ forearm - ironically, the one with the dark mark - and looked up into his eyes. 

“ _Regulus_ ,” he started, softly. “I am alright now. Please don’t worry.” 

Regulus watched his face, holding back the angry tears that threatened to fall. 

It was quiet for a long moment. 

“I’m going to figure out what he hid. And then I’m going to destroy it,” he said, straightening up and dusting off his coat. “He will not touch my _family_.” 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Six months later, he was even closer to figuring it out. 

His hair was longer, his cheeks were a bit more hollow, and the bags under his eyes were much more noticeable than they were four months prior. He had turned 18, and had spent most of the end of his final year holed up in the Restricted Section of the library. 

On the second-to-last day of term, everything clicked. His months of research, his careful questions, his deep research. 

Voldemort had made a horcrux. 

And not just one. There were more, there _had_ to be. Voldemort was powerful, and he wasn’t stupid. With a horcrux, he could be preserved even if his physical body - or whichever body he was occupying - was destroyed. Maybe that was how he was able to travel to 12 Grimmauld Place so long ago, or stay undercover for such a long time. 

He spent his last two days at Hogwarts - the school he had found such salvation in for the last seven years - finding out anything and everything he could about horcruxes. While the rest of his classmates said their weepy goodbyes and attended parties and whatnot, he was in the library until it closed. 

When he returned home, he locked himself in his room with all of his notes and any other material he could get his hands on. He stayed in there for two weeks, leaving only to use the bathroom or retrieve meals from Kreacher. 

He devised a plan, and decided it would be put into motion the month after his last day of term. It was risky, but he knew it was what had to be done. 

First, he and Kreacher would apparate to the cave. Kreacher was the only person who knew where it was, so he would have to take them. He would then drink the Emerald Potion - more commonly known as the Drink of Despair. Kreacher needed to make sure that Regulus drank it, and be competent enough to get them both out of there. The potion protected the horcrux, which he would take and replace with a fake. Then they would leave, and Regulus would destroy the horcrux in a place as far as they could get away from the cave. That part was up to Kreacher. 

From more information Kreacher gave him, Regulus found out that the horcrux was a locket - Salazar Slytherin’s locket to be precise. It was gold, Kreacher had told him. With a serpentine S on the front made of green stones. Kreacher soon went to work, making a copy of the locket as best as he could. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Two weeks passed by much quicker than Regulus expected. In that time, he worked on spells he could use to possibly destroy the horcrux, as well as looking over any information that would help him and Kreacher on their mission. 

Orion and Walburga Black were luckily not home, instead in St. Mungo’s, as his father had been struck ill. Walburga accompanied him there, and they had been there for the last week. It gave Regulus ample time to get ready, then leave and return undetected. 

Kreacher finished the locket - a perfect replica - two days before they were intended to set off. He gave it to Regulus, who took it up to his room. He sat it down on his desk, then took out a piece of parchment and a quill. Voldemort would know what happened as soon as the horcrux was destroyed, and would likely run to its hiding place. He dipped the quill in ink and began writing. 

_To the Dark Lord_

_I know I will be dead long before you read this_

_but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret._

_I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can._

_I face death in the hope then when you meet your match,_

_you will be mortal once more._

_R.A.B._

He took a deep breath, folding up the note and putting it inside the locket. This was his contribution. He would help. He would be strong. He would be _brave_. 

He set the locket on his desk. When he and Kreacher left, he would stow it in his jacket, and that would be it. No going back. 

Over the next two days, he barely slept, nerves jittery and restless. He was scared, and wished for a moment that everything was different. 

He wished his brother was there. To be the brave one, to save Regulus, to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He wanted what they had as kids, not what they had after Sirius left. He wanted the reassuring knocks on the walls, the laughs, the joking, the _happiness_. Not the fights, or the arguments, or the looks, or the war. They were just children. They didn’t deserve this. A month ago, he had been at Hogwarts. He was 18 and unprepared, relying on himself and Kreacher. Sirius hated him - for being a death eater, for sticking too close to their parents to stay safe - and so did his parents, and the people at his school, and everyone who despised the Blacks for simply having a last name. Maybe it would’ve been easier to be rebellious. To be burnt off the family tree like Andromeda or Sirius. They were both happy, weren’t they? Maybe if Regulus had gone with them, either of them, when they had left, they all could have lived a happy life. Andromeda with her daughter - Sirius had told him - and her husband; Sirius with his wonderful friends and found family. They all could’ve stayed together, a united front against the Black family dynasty. But things weren’t like that, Regulus knew. 

Regulus got out of bed, stumbling through the darkness to his desk and lighting the candle there with the snap of his fingers. He had gotten quite good at wandless magic, and was always impressed with himself. 

He sat down and pulled out a piece of parchment, his quill and inkpot joining it on the desk shortly after. 

He took a deep breath, and began. 

_Dear Sirius Black,_

_If you are reading this, I assume that I did not come back._

_If you are reading this, I assume that you came home._

_If you are reading this, I assume that you came to save me. Or to save yourself, perhaps._

_I’m so sorry to disappoint you. Truly, I never meant to cause you any harm. Throughout our childhood, too. You were everything I wished to be, and everything I couldn’t make myself be. Brave, confident, smart, charismatic, strong both emotionally and physically. A man I would be proud to call my brother, yet know I have no right to. I did not stand up for you. I could not protect you. I tried and tried and tried, but it got too hard. They got scarier._

_I never wanted to be a Death Eater. I couldn’t see the good in it. They didn’t give us a choice. It was join or die fighting a war we would lose in. I made the wrong mistake two years ago, but I will not make the mistake twice in a row._

_Voldemort has horcruxes. I have found one. It’s in a cave somewhere - Kreacher won’t tell me where so he’s taking me instead. I am terrified. But I know you would do the same. You would do anything to protect the ones you love. You would make the right decision. So I thank you for that._

_This is my last contribution. I’m so sorry. I love you, and I never meant for things to get this hard._

_Your brother,_

_R.A.B._

He folded the letter in half, then carefully padded to his brother’s room. His eyes scanned over the door and he waited. Maybe he would open it and Sirius would be there. Sirius would hug him and tell him he missed him and how everything was going to be okay. They would go to Uncle Alphard’s cabin and hide away for the rest of their lives, forgetting about the war altogether. 

He hesitated before opening the door and walking in. It was just as it had been the day Sirius left. The blankets were a mess, and there was Gryffindor memorabilia stuck to the walls with permanent sticking charms that made his mother so angry. He walked to the fireplace, and set the letter down obviously on the top of the mantle. If Sirius came back, he wouldn’t be able to miss it. 

He sighed and stayed in the room maybe a minute more before turning to leave. 

In a perfect world, Sirius Black would’ve found that letter. Perhaps he would’ve gone back to 12 Grimmauld Place when he heard the news, or noticed it in his bedroom at some point much later, sitting pristinely on the dark mantle. But this was not a perfect world. And the letter was long gone before Sirius Black ever returned to the place he once called home. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The energy in the building had shifted by the time the day came. Both Regulus and Kreacher were on edge, dreading what was coming. Regulus paced around his room all morning. He had barely slept through the night, and was running mostly on adrenaline rather than actual sleep. 

He buttoned his shirt slowly, watching himself in the mirror. Merlin, he looked tired. But it would all be worth it when he and Kreacher destroyed the horcrux. One step closer to defeating Voldemort, making him weak. 

The shirt was soft and a dark grey that almost bordered on black. It was his favorite, and if he had any inkling as to what was approaching, he knew he wanted to be wearing it. He took off any jewelry or chains that he still had on - only a thin silver necklace and a tie around his wrist - just in case. He mussed his hair up a bit. He usually kept it neat and pushed back, but he wanted to try something new. A new day with new challenges. 

He crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes, a task so familiar, yet so alien in this moment. Why was he being so careful? They were just shoes. Nothing important, nothing sentimental. He shook his head, getting up and walking to the desk. 

And there it was. 

He picked the faux horcrux up by the chain, letting it glint in the cold light before stowing it away in the pocket of his pants. It would be the safest place - at that moment, at least. 

He took one last look in the mirror. His face looked hollowed and shadowy. He looked tired. Was this how he’d be remembered? 18 years old and a horcrux-destroyer? More importantly, was that a good thing or a bad thing? 

_This is it_ , he told himself. 

_We’re not coming back, are we?_ Regulus knew the answer. Kreacher knew the answer. They both knew the answer, yet both of them refused to say it out loud. Maybe it was for the better. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The cool, swift sea breeze whipped across his face as he watched it. This was it. This was the moment. The moment that would change everything for him. 

He looked down at Kreacher - stone faced, scared, and ready, all at the same time - and smiled softly. If this were to be his fate, he was at least grateful to have his best friend at his side. 

He sighed and looked out at the crashing waves, the cave not far off from where they were standing. It was violent and thrashing, yet somehow calming and perfectly serene. 

“Master Regulus,” Kreacher said apprehensively. 

Regulus patted his friend’s small back, chuckling humorlessly as he bit the inside of his cheek. 

“For the last time, Kreacher,” he sighed, “Regulus is fine.” His eyes were on the cave, but he dragged them away to look at Kreacher. He met his eyes and nodded shakily. 

“Let’s go then,” he said, taking his small hand to allow him to apparate them inside the cave. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


When Regulus’ eyes finally adjusted, he took a second to look around. It was dark, that was for sure, which made that a bit more difficult. 

He took out his wand, holding it up in the air. “ _Lumos Maxima_ ,” he yelled, and white light filled the cave. Regulus took this time to look at the scene around them. From what he could tell, most of the cave was still very dark and shadowy, blankets of darkness visible even with the casting of the spell. Regulus shivered. 

He then looked up, eyes gazing at the seemingly infinite cavern. Maybe it really could go on forever. He sighed, looking back down at where he and Kreacher had apparated to. 

They were on what seemed to be a small, stony island. Inky black water surrounded them, so opaque that if you put your hand into it, it would probably disappear. What lay under the surface? Regulus bit his cheek and focused back to where Kreacher was standing. 

Kreacher looked up at Regulus, albeit a bit sadly. “It’s in here, Regulus,” he said, motioning towards the stone basin next to him. “The horcrux.” 

Regulus tensed at the mention of the horcrux, then moved to stare down into the basin. There was a dark green, cloudy mixture in it. “Drink of Despair,” he said matter-of-fact. He nodded slowly, not needing Kreacher to confirm it. “And the horcrux is at the bottom?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you absolutely sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“And the only way to get it is to drink?” 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

Regulus nodded slowly, watching the potion swirl around. “Kreacher, make sure I drink it,” he said, looking at him. “Don’t tell me to stop, don’t… don’t give me a break. _Don’t_ drink it yourself.” 

Kreacher nodded, swallowing. “As you wish.” 

Regulus took a deep breath, facing back towards the basin. _Keep going until it’s gone_. He scooped up some of the potion, sipping it from his hands. He didn’t feel anything. 

He drank another scoop. And then another. And then he was hit with a wave of nausea, and doubled over, holding his stomach. 

Suddenly his heart rate picked up, his mouth went try, and he started feeling panicked. He started breathing heavily, but stood back up and scooped his hands into the basin again. He paused, then took a sip. 

Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as he originally thought. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Maybe it had been hours since he had been in the cave. Maybe minutes. Maybe days. 

Regulus had been drinking potion from both his and Kreacher’s hands at that point. The nausea had finally subsided, but the relief didn’t last long. 

With the blink of an eye, Regulus was back at 12 Grimmauld Place. How was he here? He had just been in the cave moments ago. 

He looked around, walking through the halls. Something was… _off_ … but he couldn’t place what it was. 

He walked into the tapestry room - always a calming move for when he felt anxious or out of place - and let his eyes wander down the family tree. Just as it had always been, nothing wrong or out of place. And then he froze. 

Right there, where there had always been a big, ashy burn mark, was Sirius Black’s face. 

Regulus’ heart dropped as he heard loud muggle music playing upstairs. He wasn’t at 12 Grimmauld Place. He was reliving his worst memory. 

The recognizable screaming of one Walburga Black solidified that. 

Regulus felt tears prick to his eyes, but he walked up the stairs, knowing exactly where to go without having to think about it. He had replayed this memory so many times in his head, it was almost as if he’d seen it in one of those muggle movies Sirius always talked about. 

Sirius’ door was flung open, and Regulus cringed at the noise. It had been so long since he had heard - really _heard_ \- that noise. He hated it with every fiber of his being. 

He walked to the doorframe, watching his mother scream. She screamed about everything, it was nothing special. 

Regulus looked down the hall, pausing when he saw himself. Memory Regulus was only 14 at the time, and absolutely terrified, despite the cold front he always put on. Regulus tore his eyes away from himself, then back to the scene unfolding. 

“You are a disgrace to this family, Sirius Orion-” 

“Don’t call me that! I am _not_ Orion, and I never will be!” 

“You will watch your tone with me, _boy_ ,” she hissed. “Or you will regret every word coming out of your mouth.” 

“I hate you, I hate this fucking family, and I am _not_ one of them,” he yelled. His face was so broken, but he had so much fire. 

“How dare you utter those words in this household! You ought to be disowned!” 

“Then do it, then,” Sirius said, arms wide open. “ _Fucking disown me, I dare you_.” 

Regulus covered his mouth as the tears ran down his face. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. 

Walburga grabbed Sirius by the arm, dragging him out of the room and down the hall. 

Regulus’ breath quickened, and he followed the scene. Memory Regulus was still watching, hiding at the end of the hallway. Always good at hiding in shadows. 

“You have disrespected your entire bloodline, and yet you expect to just be _disowned_?” She laughed evilly. “Oh no, Sirius, I think you should get what you really deserve.” 

A flash of panic crossed Sirius’ face as Walburga shoved him, hard, down the stairs. 

Regulus screamed and ran to grab him, but his arm slipped through him. He wasn’t there. His screams were echoing in the cave, not in the hallways of Grimmauld Place. 

Sirius fell all the way down the stairs, landing in a painful heap at the bottom. Walburga was there in a second, dragging Sirius to the tapestry room as she grabbed out her wand. 

Regulus followed, sobs shaking his body but not stopping him from moving. 

Walburga raised her wand and slashed his name off the tree with a bright spark of flames. And then she turned to Sirius and said it. The word Regulus had been dreading the whole time. 

_“Crucio!”_

Sirius’ body writhed in pain, letting out screams of pure pain. Regulus screamed along with him, yelling and pushing Walburga to stop, but she wasn’t really there. 

It was the longest she ever inflicted the curse on him, however, it was not the first. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Regulus was screaming and shaking and sobbing when he finally opened his eyes. Instead of being met with the icy stares of his mother and the image of his older brother writhing in pain on the ground, he was met with Kreacher’s caring and concerned eyes. Kreacher must’ve known exactly what the potion had shown Regulus, because it didn’t take but a second for Kreacher to wrap his small arms around Regulus. 

Regulus took a few moments to gather himself, before moving to shakily stand up again - as at some point, he had ended up on the ground. 

He dusted his pants off, then walked slowly back to the stone basin, where the last scoop of potion was located. 

Regulus sighed and scooped it into his hands, taking a long sip then sighing. His mouth was dry - dryer than the desert - but it was time to take care of the horcrux. 

Regulus stopped to look down into the basin, finding it now empty of potion, with a piece of gold at the bottom. His eyes widened. _The horcrux_. 

He pulled the necklace out of the basin, holding it out in front of himself. This was it. This was the piece of Voldemort’s soul that they were going to destroy. It was exactly the same as the fake Kreacher had made earlier, that was now sitting in his pocket. 

He took the fake horcrux out - note inside - and put it into the bottom of the basin, taking his time to admire the real one he held in his hand. This was the moment he had planned for since his meeting with Voldemort, whether he had known the exact circumstances or not at that time. 

He looked at Kreacher, grinning ear to ear and stowing the real horcrux in his pocket. “Cheer up, Kreacher. We have the horcrux now, all we need to do is apparate out and destroy it.” 

His throat was dry and raw - almost impossibly thirsty. “Water,” he said, motioning towards the water that surrounded them. A quick drink was all he needed, and then they would leave to destroy the horcrux. He made his way down to the edge of the water, dipping a hand in and bringing the water to his mouth, letting it coat the scratchiness in his throat. He sighed in relief as he dipped his hand in again, bringing another handful to his mouth. It was so calm here, so peaceful, and he felt so much relief that everything had gone perfectly to plan. 

He dipped his hand into the water again. _One more sip, and then we’ll go_ , he told himself. 

His hand was being filled with water when it happened. 

Something grabbed his hand. 

Regulus shifted back onto the rocks, yanking his hand back as fast as he could. 

“Shit,” he said, watching the water begin to shift around them. Hands were raising up out of the water and gripping the rocks. They were almost corpse-like; pale and sickly looking, decomposing from living in water. 

“Inferi,” Regulus said, shocked. “I can’t believe I forgot.” He pulled himself up as fast as he could, but that was not fast enough. 

A hand gripped around his ankle and pulled him. His back landed on the rocks with a heard thump and he groaned painfully. More hands were wrapping around his legs, moving their way upwards to get a hold on him. 

And then he realized he was being dragged to the water. His ankles were wet, and he could feel the water moving up his body. He was breathing heavily now - short, panicked breaths being the only sound in the cave other than the water’s movement. 

He twisted around onto his chest, then dug his fingers into the rocks in front of him. His nails were being ripped to shreds, but that wasn’t exactly what he was worried about right now. He was more concerned with getting out of this alive. 

That’s when he saw Kreacher. Kreacher, standing next to the basin like he was supposed to. Kreacher, eyes welled up with tears. Kreacher, face full of more fear and terror than Regulus had ever seen, even at home. 

Regulus used what strength he had left to pull himself up onto the rock and dig the horcrux out of his pocket. The Inferi were moving quickly, he had to act. 

A hand gripped around his ankle again and he threw the horcrux at Kreacher before he was yanked back towards the water. 

“Kreacher, go,” Regulus screamed. “Take- Take it and destroy it!” 

His voice was hoarse and raw, but he had no choice. He was being pulled back to the water, hands around his ankles and legs, then grabbing at his arms. The Inferi were moving onto the rocks, surrounding him and moving towards Kreacher, as well. 

Kreacher was frozen in place, watching Regulus with hesitation as he gripped the horcrux in his shaky hands. 

“Kreacher, _please_ ,” he cried. His voice broke, and that opened the floodgates. 

Now he was crying, hot tears running down his face and breath quickening. 

He was in the water up to his knees now, and that was increasing with every passing second. 

Even through foggy eyes, he could see Kreacher still standing there. The water was up to his waist now, and he was being pulled fast despite how tightly he was holding onto the rocks. 

“Go, please. I- I can’t lose you, too,” he whispered. He didn’t have the strength to yell, and knew that his voice was the only one in the cave. 

Kreacher nodded as Regulus’ waist was submerged. “Yes, Regulus,” he said. His voice broke, and Regulus choked out a sob. 

There was a crack, and Kreacher was gone. 

Regulus screamed. He screamed and screamed and screamed, letting his throat rip and bleed. This was all he had. There was nothing left. He was all alone, with nothing but his screams to comfort him. 

He was terrified of dying. Ever since he was a kid, it was him and Sirius fighting to survive. That was their rule. Fight to survive, and you’ll make it out alive. Where had he gone wrong? Maybe it was staying in Grimmauld Place after Sirius left. Maybe it was becoming a Death Eater. Maybe it was even earlier, when he and Sirius drifted in their earlier years together at Hogwarts. Maybe it was when he was sorted into Slytherin. They hadn’t spoken since Sirius was still at Hogwarts. He hated Regulus - for being a Slytherin, for being a Death Eater, for being nothing but a follower. Sirius was brave, and sociable, and kind, with the closest group of friends that Regulus could never get for himself. They were Sirius’ new family, and he made that quite clear. _You’re not my fucking brother anymore, Reg_. That was the last thing he ever said to him. Two days before he left Hogwarts for good. He would never be as brave as Sirius. He would never be as strong. He wasn’t like that. He was weak, and couldn’t even defend himself from the other kids at school. Sirius would never look at him in any other way. And there was no way to change that now. 

The water was up to his neck now. His nails were bloody and raw, and held on until an Inferius yanked them off the rock. With that final pull, he was dragged under the water. 

He thrashed violently, kicking his legs and arms as hard as he could move them. He breached the surface and gasped before being pulled under again. He tried pushing himself up, but he was sinking deeper and faster now that the Inferi had him underwater. 

He started coughing and water seeped into his lungs. He coughed more, struggling to breath now. 

His vision was going black around the edges, and the surface of the water was so far away that he knew he had no chance. He was gasping for breath, but there was no air left. 

He saw glimpses of scenes as he started to black out. 

He saw Sirius running through Grimmauld Place. He was young, and chasing Regulus. He was laughing. He was _happy_. 

He saw his first day at Hogwarts, Sorting Hat yelling out “Slytherin” and the Slytherin table erupting into cheers. He looked at Sirius, expecting him to be disappointed, but he was smiling widely and giving him a thumbs up. 

He saw his brother and his friends, right before they were caught for turning the floor of the Great Hall into quicksand. They were laughing. 

He saw Kreacher, enjoying Regulus’ sixteenth birthday cake with him, the two of them alone in the kitchen. No one else had been there - Sirius was at James Potter’s house for the summer and his parents had been out for “business.” Kreacher had made it special just for him. They were each other’s only friends, and that was perfectly fine. 

That was all he needed. He was content now. He was at peace with himself. He had fought for so long, but now it was over. 

And finally, he let himself slip away into darkness. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


There were many things Regulus would never know. 

For example, he would never know that when Kreacher apparated, he apparated to the edge of the cave. He would never know that Kreacher forced himself to sit and listen to his best and only friend’s scream, gut wrenching and raw and full of pain. He would never know that he didn’t leave until the thrashing in the water finally stopped, leaving just the sound of the rolling waves from outside. He would never know that he blamed himself for the events that transpired that day _every single day_ for the rest of his life. 

He would never know about his parent’s passing - his father only a few days after Regulus, and his mother a few months later. Maybe it was out of sickness, maybe out of grief. Who could really tell. 

He would never know what happened when Sirius found out. How he had cried for weeks at the Potter’s, blaming himself for everything that went wrong in their relationship. How he had shut his friends out until he could bear to look at James’ black hair that reminded him too much of Regulus’. How when Harry was born, Sirius could do nothing but cry, because he couldn’t stop thinking about when his little brother was born. How with every mistake he made, he wondered what Regulus would’ve said to him. How he began to think he didn’t even know the boy he knew as his brother for 18 years. Could he have been a better brother? If he had been there, could he have saved Regulus? 

He would never know that Sirius would be sent to Azkaban. 

He would never know that Sirius would be gone for 12 years. 

He would never know that Kreacher couldn’t destroy the horcrux. 

He would never know that Voldemort would come back. 

He would never know that the horcrux would be stolen. 

He would never know that Kreacher would be left alone in the house for over a decade. 

He would never know that his letter to Sirius would get swept under his bed after collecting dust for so long. 

He would never know that Sirius never hated him, and always wanted the best for him.

He would never know these things, but he had no control over that. 

He didn’t know that two of Sirius’ closest friends would join him only two years later. 

He didn’t know that Sirius would join them fifteen years after that. 

When that day came, seventeen years after Regulus had been swallowed up by an infinite black abyss, they would be able to be happy together, in a world with freedom and no judgement. 

Many years later, Kreacher would join them too, reunited with the boy he had cared for and loved more than anyone else. 

And together, in this new life, they could all finally be at peace. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am truly sorry for any emotions I may have possibly caused. 
> 
> If you enjoyed and are not too emotionally broken, leave a comment! I love reading them. Honestly, even if you're emotionally broken I'd love some feedback! 
> 
> Have a good day, and remember to be kind to yourself. <3


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